Oh Happy Disney Day

Today, instead of getting a crapload of crap off my desk, I attended a "Disney Institute Creativity Seminar". I thought it was going to be terrible and cheezzzzzy - making it terribly cheesy, but it wasn't. I was surprised! Not once did I find myself rolling my eyes.

We learned new ways to brainstorm, and a new ways to keep the creative juices flowing at the office. So now my task... Keeping up the momentum at the office.

I even got some ears and a little certificate to add to my certificate stack. I probably should really do something with them all to look more professional. I don't want to display them on my walls like some people do. That's uber lame. I just want to be a little lame. So I'll put the hat on my souvenir shelf.

Everyone have a happy Mickey day!

Shit Knockers

Yes, that's what I said. For the past 3 months I've had a one-hundred dollar plus phone bill. I keep thinking it's because I've forgotten to pay the last months or something. I've never actually looked at my usage. It turns out, I've been going over my usage minutes (450) by A LOT! Last month I went over 89 minutes, and was charged $40 more dollars! And I don't even want to tell you about the month before that! So, for all you bitches that say you never hear from me. OBVIOUSLY someone is hearing from me, because I've never hardly ever gotten close to going over my minutes. Not in like 4 years!

So now I'm faced with the dilemma. Just up the minutes to the $100/month plan, or do I try to just keep my minutes down? I checked. I am at 397 and my billing period ends on 10/22. If I do that, no one will be hearing from me this month. But I really don't want to pay another $50 for my phone. Oh the drama!

New Design

I decided my blog needed a face lift. And since I can't leave my room. OK. I ventured out because I had to. I had to go to the front desk to add my credit card to my room so I could log on to the Internet. And while I was out I managed to get bombarded by the show go-ers all duded up. Oh, and one perfectly thin, perfectly cellulite free size 2 hottie wearing tight black shorts so short her apple bottoms were hanging out. But in a totally hot way. Bitch. So back to my room I went and decided to create a new header.

What do you think?

Too Fat for Vegas?

OK. On a serious note. I am staying at the Mandalay Bay. I headed down to their super cool wave pool, and after not being able to locate my coworkers, I opted to find my own chair. As I started to look around for an empty lounge chair. I became frighteningly aware of my obesity. I thought I'd just find a chair, ditch my stuff and jump into the pool before anyone saw the beached whale. But I just couldn't do it. The more I saw hot siliconed women, the more I thought about my flabby round stretch mark scared belly and my oversized dimpled thighs. I just wanted to run up to my room. And that's just what I did after unsuccessfully finding a lounge chair that was in a mud hole to hide my hideous body. I for sure wasn't going to sit down next to anyone else out on that beach.

It was terrible. I never in my fat life, have been worried about the way I looked to other people. I just wanted to crawl up into a ball and never come out. Not even my $200 fat girl bathing suit could help me feel better. And it's super cute and flattering.

I've decided that no matter what I'm making it out there tomorrow. (It may need to involve a couple shots of some sort of hard liquor, but I'm doing it.) I can't stay at this incredible hotel, in nice hot 100 degree weather (it's 60 something in ND.) I'd be an idiot if I didn't take advantage.

How Do You Talk

to an angel?!!!  (raspby voice)

How do you hold her close to where you arrrrrrrrr

How do you talk, to an angel?

It's like tryin' to catch a fallin' starrrrrr  (raspby voice)

 

Do you remember that song?  It was some opening song to some tv show where some hot guy was the star who was trying to be a band singer sometime around the time Melrose Place came out.  I think his name was Jaime something.  Oh yeah, the show was called "The Heights".  They are playing that song on the radio.  Boy, that was a long time ago now wasn't it?  Damn he was hot.  I remember that though.  The show sucked.  :o(  But who cares, he was hot.  I wonder if he still is?

 

Kid Rock

I'm really tired of Kid Rock's rip off of Sweet Home Alabama.  It's on the country circuit, it's on the pop circuit, it's on the rock circuit.  Everywhere I turn the station it's on!  I can't take it anymore! 

 

It's one of those songs I thought was alright the first two times I heard it, now I'm just tired of it and want it to stop.  I've even turned the station to escape it, only to hear it playing on the station I turned it to!  When will the madness end?!!!

Girls are NASTY

If you're a girl, have you ever looked at your phone? I just cleaned the dust off my office phone, and noticed all the nasty makeup that was caked on to my headset.  NASTY! I had to use a wet wipe and scrape it off.  I have no idea how long it's been that way, but it grossed me out.  I am now going to wet wipe my phone at the end of everyday.

I am Loved

Thanks.  You have to be one of the greatest Supervisors ever.
 

 

Oh yeah, that was to me! 

Politics

I can't believe all the crap my Elephant friends are sending me today via email.  It's non-partisan stuff, but it's interesting to me who is sending it to me.  Suddenly they have a fire under their asses or something.  Not like I was inspired by John McCain's speech last night.  But thanks to the Convention, I am suddenly very aware of his broken arms that I really never noticed before and now I'm questioning if he's in constant pain like so many of our previous presidents, or if one arm is going to fall off while he's waving one day.

 

I also decided last night that the Elephants at that convention are retarded (I am holding out hope that it was just the ones in attendance, and not the whole party, because I actually like some Elephants in power).  Poor Mcy couldn't even finish a sentence without the idiots chanting "USA!  USA! USA!" (and let me add, in inappropriate places.).  It's like they thought they were at the Olympics where it would make perfect sense to chant that over and over and over and over again.  But HELLO IDIOTS we're all in the USA.  That's why we're listening to American campaign speeches for president.  It's not like we're listening to all the other countries candidates that are biding for the office of American President.  Idiots.

 

I especially love the inappropriateness when he said that he had broken his arms and couldn't feed himself, and then the crowd went wild with cheers so loud and so long, poor Mcy had to put up his gimp arms and ask for quiet to finish his sentence.   Idiots.  (They probably caused him a lot of pain just for performing that arm lift action)  It was like, "YES!  You couldn't eat! GREAT! WOO HOO!  YIPPIE!".  The whole stupidity of it reminded me of jack ass fraternity brothers.  You could tell that even McCain was like, "Enough already you jack asses."

 

You know what I noticed about the stage?  It looked like a big hand flipping us the bird.  Anyone else notice that?

 

 

Butch Lesbians

What's up with butch lesbians?  I saw 4 of them at the mall during lunch, and all were dressed terribly.  Seriously.  Just because you are butch, doesn't mean you have to look terrible.  Where do they shop?  Butch Lesbos are us?  I don't even understand where their cloths come from because I've never seen anything like it on a rack anywhere.  Are they getting custom made butch-wear?   Just because you're butch doesn't mean you have to look terrible.  And don't give me that, "I want to be comfortable" crap either.  A person can look good and be comfortable.  It's not that hard to do.  It's terrible. 

 

Maybe I should start up a movement to help the butch out.  kb's charity for the butch.  What do you think?

Words of Wisdom

I got a new monitor, so I've removed all the little messages I've had up there for myself.

Here are a couple fortune cookie wisdomages that I had saved.

 

"The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go."

 

"Ideas you may believe as absurd ultimately lead to success!"

 

Does anyone have anything interesting stuck to their monitor?