The Internet is going to Be Turned Off Tomorrow

My RSS News feed had this as a title article. So I bit. But the feed sent me to a broken link. So I decided to pose the question on my blog and see what responses I get.

The internet is going to be turned of tomorrow. (No one knows when or if it will be turned back on) What 5 things would you print out?

Oh, the heat!

So it's been like 95 and higher here in good ole North Dakota/Minnesota for 19 days in a row. It's hot. And not only is it hot, it's hot and sticky. Smoldering sticking. Nothing like the heat I am used to in Texas. My body is sweating from places I didn't even know could sweat. Like the back of your knees. Everyone is giving me crap because I don't appreciate the heat out here, and I'm like well, the heat down south is a dryer heat, so it's not so torturesome. Plus, I've been up north for 2 years. (And have been freezing pretty much the whole time too) And another thing. In Texas, we don't stay outside for hours on end. We have a happy medium between outdoor activity and indoor lounging.

One good thing though. It was too hot for his parents to go to the lake, so we decided to go on Sunday so we could have some alone time up there. It was nice! I sort of wish it'd be 108 more often up here! We'd have more alone time at the lake! Besides the fact that the little air conditioner didn't really cool us down much, and that the sunfish were biting - us that is. It was pretty nice and refreshing to lounge around the lake in our floaties. You just had to keep moving or else the sunfish cross paranas would get you. It's totally weird. I've never heard of fish actually biting people. Not little ones anyway. It must be so hot in the water that they are suffering from dementia.

It's 8:21

It's 8:21 and no one on my team is in the office. There are 3 of us that come in at 7:30 and leave at 4:30. I have noticed that people come in late, and leave on time. Isn't that interesting? There is one girl that says she comes in at 8:00, but is never here on time either.

And here I have been feeling guilty for not having enough work related work to do, and have been doing personal stuff to fill my time. What I'd really like to do is cut out early everyday that I don't have anything to do. But that would make me look really bad I'm sure. I have tried to come in later and leave on time like everyone else does, but for some reason I still show up on time. Besides, the one time I actually don't show up on time, is probably the one time everyone else shows up on time, and the big boss comes looking for me. Just my luck for sure!

Oops She Did it Again!

I have this friend (who shall remain nameless). I have no faith in her ability NOT to get knocked up. All her kids have been unplanned. Which is fine because we like them all, but my point here is that I've been telling her for years that I have no faith in her not to get pregnant. Everytime she tells me she's pregnant. I just laugh. Because I know she's going to be that one friend I have with a million kids. I keep telling her that her husband had to anti-up and get a vasectomy, but for some reason she's the one responsible for the birth control. Which she obviously has issues with. If I were him, I wouldn't trust her to be in control of the BC. :o)

Baby 1: I'm not sure what happened, but obviously she got prego
Baby 2: Went camping without Birth Control pills. Got knocked up --I told her so. . .
Baby 3: Had the shot. It failed. Got knocked up. --I laughed histerically at her for weeks.

Today, she emails me and tells me her last form of birth control has miraculously dissapeared. It's like her body ate it. And so I laugh at her again. (I'm not cruel, you just have to know our relationship. I'm sure she was laughing too. A little bit)

Here is an excerpt from our convo:
Me: ha ha ha! See! You should have taken my advice. I was sceptical about it (referring to the new form of birth control)! See. It's time your husband pony-up and just get tied. It's so much easier and it's not even very painful. So are you prego? I bet you are!
Her: I better NOT be, I will be soooo mad! . . .
Me: I bet you are. You know how I have no faith in you not getting prego. I'm so wise. :oD
Everyone should always do what I say.
Her: If I am ......its yours!
Me: Great! Then I don't have to have one myself! It's a deal

I think this is great! My kid is going to come out 1/2 Spanish, and my husband and I are both white. We'll really be the topic of gossip around our small town! If I were really to take this 4th baby (which I just KNOW she's carrying in her loins as we speak) I think I'm not going to tell anyone. I'm just going to let them wonder. It'd be fun! Plus, I could pass all my fatness off as babyweight, and then start working out like crazy and start looking good. I think this is a great plan!

And let this be a lesson to all my friends. I am wise. You should all listen to my advice, and do exactly what I say. I've got proof all over the place. If everyone would just listen to me their lives would be bliss. Bliss I tell you! he he he. Weeeeeeeeee!

Good Week!

I've had a really good week. (Besides the fact that I'm dead broke) I managed to bipass Starbucks all week! Usually I stop in at least once a week, and lately it's turned into twice a week. I decided since my funds are low, and since I'm fat, I should start cutting out things I don't need. So Starbucks it was! I totally thought this decision wouldn't stick, but I haven't even really wanted Starbucks. I've gotten to my turn, where the store is on the corner, and I've not really wanted to stop. Even though, now that I'm talking about it, I really could go for an Iced Low Fat Caramel Mocha.

Farm with a View

This is an old tractor that sits out by the grain bins. We were out investigating the new dryer system that we are putting in, when I decided that it'd make a great picture. The sky was so perfect, and the corn in the background adds great texture. I decided to make it my wallpaper for a while.

My First Harvest

You are looking at my first big harvest of Grape Tomatoes. Aren't they a beut?

Tuesday Morning Woahs

I have to say. My body is saying the same thing CR's was saying to him. Except mine is telling me I'm 29, not 21.

My SIL (Sister-in-law for those of you who have not caught on) had her 21st birthday last night. So of course we had to go out and celebrate. I started out planning to be the responsible older party. However, the night took a turn for the worse after their softball match. I should have gone home to bed after that, but instead I headed downtown with them for drinks with all the cute young skinny girls, and their boys and boyfriends. A good time was had by all.

I figured it out this morning. I really didn't drink too much. I averaged .889 drinks an hour. So that's totally a good ratio. The problem I think I'm having is that I went to bed at 2:30 and got up at 6:30. Of course I'm dehydrated, so I've been drinking a lot of water. But I'm also hungry. I'm so hungry I could puke. Which is normal for me, but I think it's escalated because of the alcky hol induced dehydration. Which makes me scared to eat because what if I do have to puke? Then I have to puke at work, and I don't want to do that.

But oh well. A girl only turns 21 once, and you've got to do it up right! You only live once! No regrets here! Except maybe I could have passed on my last drink, and headed home a bit earlier.

Drunken Men = Absolute Stupidity

Do you want to know what I heard on the news this morning coming in to work? Of course you do!

So two men were drinking and bored. So of course one idiot bets the other $2000 to cut off his who-ha. So the other one accepts, takes a knife, and cuts it off. The guy who just lost the bet, grabs the severed member, and drives his buddy to the hospital. The reattachment operation took 4 hours, and reconnected 6 nerves. It will take several days to know if the operation was successful.

Now ain't his mommy proud? I wonder at what point in time, did he decide that maybe that was a bad idea? As he was swinging the knife at his own manhood, or at the moment the knife chopped through it, or maybe even on the ride to hospital while he was holding a rag to his bleeding neutered self? This has got to make this years Darwin Awards.

Only in My Dreams

I keep having this recurring dream where I can't get my sliding glass door locked.

Now, usually this wouldn't be something that is scarey. The dream scenarios vary.
Sometimes I can't get the door locked and there is some guy trying to get in, and I never get the door locked in time.

Other times, I close it, and forget to check and see if it's locked, and I go to bed. Only to wake up later with some guy standing over my bed looking down on me.

And yet other times, I try to lock the door millions of times, and the lock doesn't take. Finally, it lockes, and I go to bed. Only to wake up later, get up to check it, and it's unlocked.

I can't remember for sure, but I feel like I used to have this dream when I lived in some apartments when I was in High School. I either had these dreams, or you really couldn't lock the glass door at that place. I remember that I used to put in a metal bar whenever I was home alone, and my parents would try to come in the glass door after a night out, only to be extremely angered by my putting in the bar. But hey! At least I was a kid trying to be safe!

Either way, I'd really like to stop having this dream. Any thoughts? Can you stop yourself from dreaming certain dreams or am I helpless?

Hom Furniture

I went to www.hom.com looking for furniture. Imagine my surprise (or was it delight) when it redirected me to some male underwear model site. Check it out! Be sure to select english, and wait for it, wait for it, ahhhh! There it is! Oh yeah! Makes me wanna spank that ass!
You can even download wallpaper.

Oh, and by the way, the website I was looking for was www.homfurniture.com.

After Two Years

I heard an article on the radio about exchanging your wedding diamond for a bigger one. I looked down at my ring and thought back to when I got it. When I first saw my ring in the store, with my friend Lilagirl, I thought I wanted a bigger center stone (should it become my ring). However, when it found it's permanent residence on my left finger, I have never wished it to be any different. Looking at my pretty ring sparkling in the daylight, I still would not want to change a single thing about it. (Other than get it cleaned.)

Two years later, the band now has a couple little imperfections. One from when I was trying to take it off to show my husband something and it went flying across the sidewalk, and other small scratches that just occur while a person lives life. Although nicks and scratches are not something I usually covet, I look forward to the days when I'm old and when my grandkids look at down at my ring and ask me about it. The diamonds will still sparkle, and the band will reflect the story of my married life through all it's tiny little scratches, nicks, and dings.

Headphones at Work = Bliss

I think I've mentioned a few times about how my new office is very quiet. Like VERY VERY Quiet. Not really my whole office, just my area. My team is only 8 people, and we sit in the back corner. It's like we have our own little world. We actually call it the "Web Cave". My team members are all very quiet usually. Every once in a while someone will say something, and we will all chime in for a minute, but then it dies back to silence.

I on the other hand, can't stand silence in the work place. It makes me tired and bored. I'm not a chatterbox at work. But if I didn't have my radio I'd really be hating life. I have to turn my radio almost all the way to zero so it's not heard outside of my cube (And therefore anoying my coworkers who like it quiet.) This poses a problem because in the morning I listen to talk radio, and I can't hear what they are saying. Then the music comes on and it's very loud. Although no one has said anything to me, I have a sneaking feeling I'm being talked about when I'm gone.

So, I went out and bought headphones. Although it's taking some getting used to, I'm totally diggin' it. I can crank up my morning talk shows and actually hear them! Woo hoo! It's great. Then in the afternoon, when i'm not listening to talk, I just listen to it like normal. The silence really gets to me some days. That's about the only thing I miss about my old job. There, we were more like a bunch of friends, not coworkers. Which I'm sure is part of the reason why the place was managed so crapily. But at least the days went by fast because you were with your friends. Here, they are all just co-workers. :o( I guess you always make trade offs when you change jobs.

Are You all About the Cup, or the Coffee?

A unique reminder of things I've spoken about before.

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, and some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

After all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

"Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it's just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups...and then began eyeing each other's cups.

"Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and Position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not define nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

God brews the coffee, not the cups . . . enjoy your coffee.

Long Drive to the Cities

This weekend I drove up to the Cities. (That's going to totally kill my friend Jordan because technically it's down, and we go round and round about how "going up to" is just a phrase that is all encompassing. But it totally anoys her. I see her now correcting me in her mind as she reads this.) Actually, Jordan is the one I went to see this weekend.

We had originally planned a pool party, then after a few people we invited said they couldn't make it, we just turned it into a girlfriends bonding weekend for us. It's been planned for weeks.
Well, my "loving husband" (as SM would call him) decided to tag along at the last minute. (There goes the talking about my issues) But I didn't mind really. It would just require a change in venue for me and Jordan.

Let me tell you. I have driven to and from the cities many many times over the past 2 years. And usually it's not a bad drive. From Wheaton, it's a 2 1/2 hour drive (if you speed). From Fargo, it's a 3 1/2 hour drive. I haven't driven to the cities since May 23rd when I went with my family. Let me tell you how long the drive felt this time around. First off. My wonderful loving husband was not feeling well, but was in denial about it. So he was a killjoy for most of the weekend. I drove, in the car, with him, for 3 1/2 hours. Most of that ride was in silence because he either didn't want to talk, or was sleeping. How was the drive home? The same.

So we get there and my friend is in the pool with her little poolside buddies. It's sort of funny. There are these few people that always lay out at the pool. They have all talked to eachother at some point. You know, "hello", "what's up?" stuff like that. Well, this weekend, apparently was the first time their worlds all collided, and they were all out there drinking and chatting, when LH and I come walking up. It was such a Melrose Place moment.

So we pull Jordan away from her "Sunfish" buddies to go get us some Qdoba. Then we return to the pool where we stayed for several hours. It was nice considering it was a record breaking hot day. Miraculously, it was over a hundred degrees. I felt like I was back home in TX.

It was a fun weekend. I got to meet Jordon's "Sunfish" buddies, and sing Karoke. Too bad for big D though. I think he had fun, but he definately was not his normal self.

Sunday we stoped and shopped around a bit before heading home. Then we stopped off at our lake place (because it's right off the freeway on our way, and I needed to get out of the car.) Only to realize we didn't have the keys to the trailer. So we just walked around and checked out what people were doing.

All in all I had a great weekend. I got to see Jordan, which was much needed, and got to be back in civilization for a while. I'm sitting here at work again, and not wanting to work. I'm starting to think maybe I really should look into this house-wife, or staying at home thing. There are so many things (projects, and business ideas) that I could be working on, if my 9 hours at work weren't obsorbing my days. Too bad donating bone marrow doesn't pay a good salary. I'd totally do that.

Good Boy

My husband helped move a family member into a nursing home this past Thursday. Since he was helping her move things out, she offered to give him a few things that she no longer needed now that she was going to be in a home. I have been wanting to buy an entertainment center for my TV for a long time now, but the ones I like are way out of my budge right now. Ever since we moved from Texas, I have had my TV sitting on one of my favorite trunks. (The TV stand didn't fit into the truck when we packed everything up, so it's now with my old apartment's groundskeeper. He also took a couple of plants off of my hands. Gotta love those dumpster divers.)

So back to the point. He thought of me, and took her old TV stand. Of course, it's not something that I'd pay money for, but it's alright looking and serves it's purpose in getting my TV off of the trunk, and now, when I buy a new printer, my printer can go below it. (Unless I get a wireless converter for it, then it'll go under my computer stand in the corner.)

For now, I'm very happy because my trunk is now back where it should be. The center of attention in my living room, serving as my coffee table and blanket store-er.

You know what else? I had forgotten what was in that trunk. When I moved, I just loaded it full of things. So I found some good cloth that I had bought to make a skirt out of, and some bran new patterns that I forgot all about having! It's like going shopping! I also stored candles in there, so it smells all yummy whenever you open it up too.

I Think I'm on the Verge of a Breakdown

So, it's been a while since I had a breakdown. You know we all have them, so don't go thinking, "Oh that KB she's so crazy." Yes, I have my moments of craziness. But after witnessing other crazies throughout the years, I've realized that I'm pretty mild. Very mild actually. And I've mellowed through the years as well. (Thanks to my super mellow hottie husband.)

So I'm driving back from the mall (on my lunch break) and that song "I Love the Way you Love Me" by John Michael Montgomery came on the radio. I used to love that song so I cranked it up and sang along. All of a sudden I was fighting back tears. I was about to mess up my masquera over a song. Well, this is the second time I've done that today. On the way to work this morning that song, "Private Andrew Malone" came on, and that song always gets me a little verklempt. I actually did drop a tear. I'm actually tearing up right now.

Yeah.... I think it's coming. And I'm not even getting my period.

What Do You Do?

My friend sent me this joke, and it's funny.

Imagine if you will, this dangerous scenario. What would you do?

You're driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is aValley and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you. You realize this is a very dangerous situation to be in. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?










Ready?




Get the hell off of the "Merry-Go-Round", you're drunk.

Ha ha ha! That was hilarous!

What Are You Listening to These Days?

I've decided that the music scene here in the FM area (This is what they call it. Fargo/Moorehead Area) really bites. I don't think I've heard a new song since I moved here. The radio stations really bite up north, but they seem to really bite here in Fargo. Let me tell you Texans that read my blog. You don't know what youy got. The radio stations down there are really good at keeping you up to date on the latest music, as well as the nightlife club bands always introducing new sounds. I miss it so. . . sigh.

So, what are you listening to now? What good bands are out there? What new sounds are out there? Let me know your thoughts on what your listening to now.

How are you listening to your music? I've decided to stop buying CD's and start listening/buying online. Where do you buy your music? Rhapsody? Music Box? Real Player? If you're buying your music online, or just listening to it, let me know your opinions and thoughts.

New! Hot Dog Cookers

These are so great, I'm asking my dad to make me a couple.

I think it'd be hilarous to have a man, and a woman grabbing it or something. But I'm not asking my dad to make me that!

Holy Scrotum Batman! Did I Just See a Dick?

Holy cow. Last night, I couldn't sleep. So I put in my Sex and the City Season 4 Disk. My friend CR got me into watching this show after he told me I had to watch the UPN versions because they are so great. I started watching and thought, "yeah, whatever. Nothing so great". Then he told me I had to watch the real shows. So I borrowed his, and have been catching up ever since.

The first episode of the new season isn't too exciting. It's the one where Carrie and Aidian get into a fight about their living quarters and his dog eats one of her shoes. Ehhh... I've seen better episodes.

Anywhoo. I'm almost finished with the episode when Sam's boyfriend Richard takes off his pants to jump into the pool, and "What the?! Did I just see his dick?" So of course I had to rewind. Then of course I had to slow it down, change the angle, and pause it, then zoom. Yep. I saw dick. Actually, I saw Dicks dick. The pun amused me even more. In the episode, Samantha tells the girl about how Richard has this perfect pink dick. So after examining it for a while, I decided my husband's was better and continued to watch the show. You definately don't see THAT on the UPN versions that's for sure!

Now, some of you are wondering why I am mentioning this on my blog. It always annoys me how there is full frontal nudety of women on regular shows and movies, but when a man shows himself completely, if it's left in, it's only ever on an X rated movie or porn. So I was quite surprised that a TV show (even though HBO) would actually show it.

I can only name a couple of main stream movies where you see full frontal man. Of course, those instances are still not treated equal. Full frontal man usually happens in a split second so you can't really get a good look at the goods. Women on the other hand. They can spend anywhere from minutes to entire sceens completely nude. Why is it such a big deal to show a man completely nude? And why does a full frontal man usually warrant the X rating? I think it's a stupid double standard, and I applaud any TV Show or Movie that blurs those lines!

What's Your Design Sign?

My friend blac17 sent me this site. It's pretty cool.

http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/pac_ctnt_988/text/0,,HGTV_22056_48166,00.html

Your mysterious nature needs a place to hide from the outside world. You're drawn to silks and leathers in deep colors like burgundy and black.
Burgundy, yes. Black, I initially thought this was a big fat no. But then I realized that I love wrought iron. And what color is that? Yes. Black. I have a lot of that in my house.

Dark curtains, locked trunks and exotic plants are the perfect accessories for your secretive spaces. Dark curtains, yes in the Bedroom, no in the living room because it shrinks your space. Trunks. I found this earily weird. Yes. I love trunks. I have two, and when my dad finishes the one I am having him build, I think I have to call it quits. Even though when I see a trunk. I usually stop and admire it, and think about buying it. Exotic plants. Yes. My favorite plant is the hybiscus. And I always pick out plants that are unusual.

So this whole concept is interesting to me. After they tell you what you like, they show you rooms that you'd like. And I have to say. I liked two out of the 3 suggestions!

Check it out, and see if it's accurate for you!

Check It out!

I bought something cool, and useful from ABC Distributing

Are you wondering why I need a hose? Well, I have a balcony that I have flowers on. See previous post, My Flowers. (That reminds me. I should take pics of what they look like now and post them.)

Anyway. I've been watering them with one of those watering jugs. Well, that means multiple trips inside to fill it. So I bought this little thing for like $8 plus s/h. I used it last night for the first time, and I'm totally happy with my purchase! Well worth the money! It just hooks up to your faucet and is plenty long. Love it!

Gimpie

Just call my Gimpie. I don't know what I did to myself, but sometime around noon yesterday my hip started to really hurt. When I walked down the stairs to lunch, I could barely make it without looking a like a gimp. So needless to say, after lunch on my way back up the stairs, I had an even tougher time. You know how you walk up the stairs, and one foot takes one step, and the other foot goes to the step above it and so on and so forth? Well. I had to walk up the steps this way. Left foot up, right foot to same step the left foot is on, left foot up again, and so on and so forth. It felt like an eternity had passed when I finally made it to the top.

This morning, it was more pain, and the same routine. Then I had to go downstairs to the breakroom where the vending machines are to buy some milk for my cereal. I walked down them alright, but I wasn't heading back up them. I am such a gimp, I took the elevator up! This must be a sign of my old age kicking in.

I did notice today that my left finger hurts as well. (This is the finger that I think I have arthritus in.) So maybe the air is too dry or something and my arthritus is acting up. Again. . . A sign that I am old. Sigh. . . I just want to go home and take a nap.

Share your aches and pains to make me feel better, will ya?

Happy Fourth of July!

It's a day late, but the sentiment remains.
Did anyone do anything fun for the fourth? I guess you could say I did. I say this because mine was spent with my In-laws, which consisted of my MIL, FIL, BIL & his wife, his wife's 13 year old boy, his friend, my SIL, and my Hubby. Can you single out why it wasn't as much fun as it could have been? I'll give you a hint. It wasn't the MIL or FIL. It was the BIL's wife's kid and friend. Those two need a good beating I believe. But I'm not going to reflect on that.

D and D bought an old used jetski, so that was a lot of fun to play with. We also brought out the speed boat so the holiday weekend was spent either on a floaty, on a speedboat, or on a jetski. Ahhh. . . The life. The water is finally starting to be warm, so I actually didn't mind swimming around this time. Usually, the water is so cold that I just float on my floaty and never really get in other than the water that gets on the floaty.

Somehow, I actually managed to lose a couple pounds. So the weekend was doubly happy for me! I'll post a pic or two once I get home.

Enron’s Kenneth Lay Dead after Heart Attack

HOUSTON - Enron Corp. founder Ken Lay, who was convicted last month of fraud and conspiracy for his part in the Houston-based company' collapse into bankruptcy in 2001, has died of a heart attack at his vacation home in Colorado, a Houston television station reported on Wednesday.
KHOU-TV, a CBS affiliate, said Lay suffered a massive heart attack. He was awaiting sentencing later this year and was expected to face a lengthy prison term for his convictions in the Enron collapse.

Call me cynicall if you must. But something makes me wonder if this guy just faked his death to avoid prison time. I mean, if the guy cheated with his business, and messed with numerous people's livelihood without any ambience of guilt, then why would he suddenly stand up and face his fate once sentenced for his crimes? I think, unless we see his body, he's already made his way to a foreign city where he'll live inexile for the rest of his life. Maybe he's hanging out somewhere with Olivia Newton Johns boyfriend. Just a thought.