Things We Won't See In 2009

as stolen from walletpop (even though, I only posted the ones I found interesting... Plus, you get my commentary on some of them.)

· Tom Mathison, Inventor of Produce Stickers
The next time you peel one of those tiny stickers off a fruit purchase, you can remember Tom Mathison, founder of Stemilt Growers and the first man to use produce stickers on a commercial scale, who died December 26.

· Polaroid Traditional Instant Film
Polaroid introduced its first instant camera in 1948. Its revenue peaked in 1991 at nearly $3 billion. But by 2001, the company had gone into bankruptcy. It was bought four years later by Petters Group Worldwide. The increased popularity of digital cameras led Polaroid to plan for the exit of traditional film in all formats and sizes. It will halt production in 2008. (Editor's Note: Polaroid filed for bankruptcy protection on Dec. 18, 2008, saying allegations of fraud at its parent company are to blame.)

· Zima
In Oct. 2008, MillerCoors LLC announced it will discontinue the clear malt beverage Zima, introduced by Coors Brewing Co. in 1992, due to "challenging malternative segment sales and declining consumer interest." Production of Zima ceased Oct. 10 with remaining orders to be filled on a first-come, first-served basis using available inventory. The last orders are expected to be filled in December. MillerCoors is asking distributors to replace Zima on store shelves with its Sparks malt beverage brand.

Ever had one? I think I did when they first came out and then forgot about them until just now.

· Bill Blass
The company that bears the name of designer Bill Bass is closing its doors according to an announcement on December 17. Blass retired a decade ago and the latest company designer departed in October.The label was put up for sale earlier this year by its parent company, NexCen Brands Inc., which announced in May that it was facing a severe cash squeeze. NexCen is still trying to sell the brand.
Has anyone worn Bill Blass in this millenium?

· Arena Football League (AFL)
Founded in 1987 as an American Football indoor league, the league grew in popularity through the years, but the increase was accompanied by greatly increased expenses and debt that led to the league to announce in December that it was suspending operations for 2009. The future of the AFL is questionable.

Poor Bon Jovi. Didn’t he own a team?

· Diet Cherry Chocolate Dr Pepper
Diet Cherry Chocolate Dr Pepper was introduced as a limited edition flavor on November 21, 2007. Although it had its fans, and was credited as tasting exactly like you would think it would, the flavor was discontinued in April 2008.

This doesn’t surprise me. This drink was TERRIBLE. I literally puked a little when I tried my try me for $1.00 promo can.

· Taco Bell’s Volcano Taco
According to Rob Poetsch at Taco Bell, the Volcano Taco was a limited time offer which is a common way Taco Bell markets new products. Taco Bell customers loved the Volcano Taco so much that it was one of its best selling limited time offer products. Alas, all good things must come to an end and the fast-food industry’s spiciest taco has been discontinued.

Seems stupid to me. Discontinue something that is popular. Especially in a recesssion.

· Smokey Chipotle Crispy Fried Chicken
In May 2008, KFC added its third fried chicken flavor to the menu -- Smoky Chipotle Crispy. The new flavor joined Colonel Sanders' Original Recipe as well as the Extra Crispy flavor. At the time, KFC said, "We've worked tirelessly to develop this new flavor. We don't take fried chicken flavor introductions lightly at KFC, and we took our time to painstakingly perfect this new recipe." It was discontinued in August.

· Linens 'n Things
In October, the bankrupt retailer said it plans to close all of its 317 remaining store nationwide. The New Jersey-based company had already closed 218 stores earlier this year. The closure notice came after the retailer was unable to find a buyer for the remaining stores.

· Sharper Image Stores
Sharper Image filed for bankruptcy protection in February, with plans to shut about half of its 184 stores and reorganize. The company put itself up for sale in April. The new owners announced in June that they plan to close all of its remaining stores. It has instead developed a licensing strategy for wholesale, retail, direct-to-retail, e-commerce and catalog businesses.

This one makes me sad. Even though I only ever bought one thing in that store, I love window-shopping in it.

· Steve & Barry's
At the end of November, this casual apparel shop announced it will be closing all remaining 173 of its stores across the country. The action follows an initial closing of 97 stores after the chain was acquired in August by two investment firms. At that time, the company announced "go-forward" plans for its existing stores, but it decided to close remaining locations.

Wow. My “city” friends loved this store.

· Lehman Brothers & Bear Stearns
Founded in 1850 by Henry Lehman, the firm was one the leading names on Wall Street until its amazing collapse in 2008. The company got caught up in the subprime mortgage mess and was unable to recover.Investor confidence eroded quickly in September and on the 14th, the company filed for bankrupcy and ceased operations. Many experts say Lehman's collapse is what triggered Wall Street's amazing downward spiral this fall. Earlier in the year Bear Stearns met a similar fate

· Bye-Bye to 25 Banks
According to the FDIC's Failed Bank List, there were 25 bank failures in 2008, as of Dec. 12. Washington Mutual and IndyMac Bank were two of the biggest banks to go under. For comparison, there were 3 bank failures in 2007, and none in 2006 and 2005.

· DHL in the U.S.
DHL, the German global shipping giant, will stop shipping within the United States on the ground and in the air, effective Jan. 30, 2009. All of DHL's 18 U.S. hubs will close.

· Cars
A few cars that have recently been shutdown globally include the Yugo, Dodge Durango Hybrid, Chrysler Aspen Hybrid, Chevy Trailblazer, GMC Envoy, Mercury Sable, and Ford Taurus X.

· Stadium Shutdowns
Yankee Stadium and Shea Stadium are two sports grounds that have closed down in 2008 along with Texas Stadium where the Dallas Cowboys played for almost 40 years.After this year's baseball season, Shea Stadium shut down in order to move to a new field next year. Though the same thing happened to the 86 year old Yankee Stadium, officials chose the new Yankee Stadium for the All-Star Game site, believing it to be an appropriate way to usher out the historic building

Do I have a Problem?

I think I may be too transparent with my coworkers.  Either that, or I might have an addiction.

My Christmas gifts this year consist of Caribou Coffee Gift cards and Qdoba gift cards.  ha!  Can't say people don't know what I love!

I don't think I'll have to pay for a cup of coffee for most of 2009!

 

Awesome!

Crappy Secret Santa

I'm a crappy secret Santa. I've never done it before and I guess I'm a Scrooge this year, because it didn't occur to me to buy cute little bags to put my goodies in. I had just planned on plopping the gifts on the desk and leaving a note. Then today, I get a cute little bag of goodies. I suck. I considered using the gift bag I got for the gifts I have yet to give, but what if my secret Santa is the guy I'm buying for?! That'd be terrible!

I suck.

Online Parallel Bible

OK. My bible thumping girlfriends (There are two of you.... and I'm not sure about, but that is really into education, so she probably knows already too.) probably already know this, but I just found this super cool website! (PS, I'm testing out a new tool in google where I'm not actually in my blog, but I'm blogging in my blog. So if it doesn't work.. Sorry. I'll fix it when I get home.)

Online Parallel Bible: Weaving God's Word into the Web

Are you wondering if I suddenly got ubber religious or something and that's why I need to reference the bible while at work? No, I'm just my normal level of religiousness, I was just curious as to the difference of being Washed in the Blood and washed in water. -- Kenny Chestney of all people brought me there. --

This site is super cool because it gives you any verse in the bible with a bunch of different bible versions. So you can see the King James version vs the American Standard version and what not. Neeto.

Check it out.

Gotsta Get Me to the Bank!

I got a pleasant surprise when I stepped into my bosses office to ask if my outfit looked alright.

I got my bonus check!  Which was a very pleasant surprise since everyone is worried about everything these days.  So I gotsta get me to the bank and cash this baby so I can go spend some money!

 

woo hoo!

Things I've been wanting to Share Pt1

These are old news now, but maybe they will be equally entertaining as they would have been had I posted them at the time of the haps.

Let me take you back to two Tuesdays ago. It was a cold November 18th. I was driving our crappy "in case of" car because mine was in the shop being worked on. I was driving to work in the morning when 10 miles away from my office it starts to act weird. I decide that I must have a tire going down, so I decide to pull over before it blows completely. I pull over to the side of the road and my car dies completely. --Weird-- So I start to checkout my gauges. To the far right, I see the problem. I RAN OUT OF GAS! This damn car didn't even have a light that turns on to alert me of the problem. Stupid thing! So here I am on a very cold windy morning, in an old rusty car. Broken down, 10 miles from my office.

Luckily, the car started again and I was able to make it another mile before it died on me again. I was able to coast up an exit ramp. Then I called a coworker and asked him what a person does in this sort of situation. He first laughed at me, then told me he had a gallon of gas in his garage because he runs out of gas more often then a person should. So he came to my rescue! Yippie. It was totally embarrassing because of the way my car looked. No one even stopped to ask if I needed help. I think it was because they saw my ugly car and thought that this must happen to me all the time.

Thank GOD for cell phones! and that I actually had mine with me that day!

Should I be Worried?

It's been so long since I posted, I couldn't remember how to log in.

I'm not sure if I should be worried. My parents are taking my baby with them while they do whatever they are going to do today. I think they will be in for it when it turns 2:00 and she wants her nap, but won't sleep because there is too much going on.

I can't wait to see who comes out in a cheery mood by the end of the day today. Will it be my mom, or will it be my baby?

PS. I have so much to share but have no time to share it.

Oh What a Beautiful Morning

It really was a beautiful morning on my drive in today. The countryside was misty with dew and the fog was clearing, giving everything this really peaceful glow. I feel good. My cold is finally gone. My back doesn't hurt. I got enough sleep last night. The baby didn't wake up screaming because her teeth hurt. And a Democrat is back in the white house! What a great morning!

I actually don't care about the Democrat part because I vote based on facts, actions, and who I feel would be the best person for the job. That being said, I'm glad Barack is in. All that being said, I hope he puts his ass to work and isn't all talk.

My radio show played "We will we will Barack you" and spliced in part of his speech last night. (Which I missed because I was asleep expecting the election to take a while to call.) It was super hilarious. But it gave me an idea. Today, I'm going to be fitting in "Barack" as much as I can.

I started out by stopping at Caribou and getting a "Barack-accino". Then I picked up some "Barack-olate" pretzels for treats for my team. And then I came in and my computer won't let me onto the work network. So it's just "Barack". Try it! It's fun! I'm going to try to do this all day long. ...I'll let you know how far I get.

Happy Barack-ensday!

Hot Naked Men

Yep. You heard me. HOT NAKED MEN. My how I love them so...


For an early birthday treat, my SILs, my cousin and I all headed out to the local casino to see some hot man action. They were called American Storm, and claimed to be the top "man show" act in Vegas. Honestly, I find that hard to believe, but maybe...


It was a lot of fun. My two SILs were a little worried before the show started, but once they got past the first guys act, they loosened up and felt some relief. Even though, they did tense up whenever the guy would jump off stage and go looking for a girl to molest in the audience. They brought several girls up on stage and we were all worried that one of us would get picked. I didn't care too much, because obviously, any reason I get to put my hands all over some hot-rock-hard-ab man, I'm totally going to take it, but I guess some girls are a little more modest than I am. (Imagine that.)


DJ's sister got a lap dance from one of them. He ran her hands down his chest. She didn't really know what to do. Then she said she didn't know what to do with all the oil on her hands, so she just rubbed it in... ha!


I couldn't really get into that guy though because he had a strong resemblance to my friend Kai. No offense to Kai, but he's beaten into my head how nasty he thinks girls are a little too much. (ummm.. did I mention his gayness?) So seeing a guy that looked like my gay friend, taking his cloths off, sort of worried me. All that being said, I sure hope my friend Kai looks like this guy did with no clothes on!


The announcer/stripper came up to me because it was my birthday and talked to me for a while. (OK. I was a little relieved that I didn't get pulled up on stage.) Then, one of the other guys came over later and slimmed me up with all his body oil and gave me a kiss. (On the cheek. Don't freak out.)


Afterwards we headed to the lounge for a free drink. Some of the strippers showed up there afterwards, so that was fun to watch all the drunken girls fall all over them. As if these strippers are really going to have a relationship with any fat girl from Fargo. Seriously.


The announcer/stripper guy gave me his business card. He works at Tao as one of their VIP Marketers. So if anyone wants free tickets to a "Man Show" let me know and I'll give the dude a call! I was a little sad that the guy had a real job on top of stripping. I would have much rather have enjoyed thinking of him as just a piece of meat. But oh well, now I have free show tickets next time I'm in Vegas! Who's gonna meet me there next time?

Week from Hell

My week from Hell is over. Woo hoo! German lady came into my office at 2:00 on Friday to tell me goodbye. I can't tell you how happy I was! I was finally able to get something done! I actually got my first piece of work done by 4:00 and actually got out of the office at what would be my "on time" time.

Too bad everyone else had left at 3:30 to go to an impromptu happy hour. Obviously, I didn't attend that. Damn it.

This week should be better. But first I have to get through Monday. And Monday's are always terrible.

Damn this guy on my TV is hot.

Shittiest Day Ever?

I think so! This could have been one of the shittiest work days I've ever had at my office. It's been hella busy at my office. It's gotten to the point that I have 400 emails in my inbox to do something with, but I don't have time to do anything with them. So there they sit. (
which reminds me. Please don't email me at my office for a while. If you do, you're just going into a filtered folder for me to find some day when I get some of this shit off my plate.)

This week, I get to deal with this lady from Germany who is our CEO's current favorite pet. Nothing is organized, nothing is scheduled, and even though she says she's going to meet with you, she almost always, tries to back out. Unless you are someone she get sucker into buying into whatever new product she's developed, she doesn't want to meet with you. (Even though, it's my team that is driving sales on those products. So you'd think she'd be kicking my ass.... ) Today I got to interrupt a meeting because I was told that there was no other business to be had other than for my team to film the 16 videos we have planned.

You can probably imagine my infuriation when I walk to the boardroom to find her having a meeting. (One that I can only assume is her pushing some new product that she wants us to sell for her) After an hour passing, I complained to my boss who advised me that I interrupt and tell her we will be filming in 10 minutes. I thought that was a little harsh, so I instead interrupted and told the room full of executives that we needed to film today. To which, German lady tried to push me off until tomorrow. Which, in turn, I got to (politely as I could be) say, "I'm sorry, no. (Big fat flipping NO!) We have no time to wait until tomorrow if "you/she" wants time to know what's going on and prepare. I then said I would like to begin filming at noon. Which was in an hour.

10 minutes later she was in my office discussing with me the one thing she is in the country to do. FILM VIDEOS! So frustrating. So mother fuckingly frustrating. I could feel steam rolling out of my ears. I told my director about it, and she said, "Before we bring on anymore of her products, she needs to provide proper support to her existing products." Well said. Then I asked, "Who wants to tell that to someone up high to make it happen?" So I have no idea what she's going to do, but at least I feel supported. Which is very nice to feel supported. It's like a nice comfortable sports bra. Ahhhhh.

I was yet again, supposed to be out of the office by 4:00, but didn't get out until after 4:30. I walked into my bosses office and said I am outta here. She asked if I was coming back tomorrow. I told her I'd think about it. ;o) Unfortunately, I get to hand hold German lady in order to keep her comfortable in front of the camera. Basically, I can't trust anyone else to do it, so therefore I get to spend another week sitting in meetings and not getting anything done. Oh the joys!

My whole drive home, I blasted a variation of hard metal music to scream and yell my frustrations out. All I could do was pray that seeing my baby would put me into a better mood. Which really all pivots on if she's in a good mood or not. Luckily, she was in a great mood! So we came home and laid on my bed and giggled and drooled. OK. She drooled. I'm not really a drooler these days. I think I've got that under control.

Today is also DJ's birthday. I didn't even get to see him but this morning when I kissed him goodbye. He's not coming home tonight because he's hard at work harvesting. :o( What a crappy birthday that is for him isn't it? Don't worry though. Last night I took him to Merle Haggard. You know... Old guy... Sings country music... And I let him open his gifts last night. I think he was pretty happy last night. I hope he's not still harvesting on my birthday. Because I will lose it if I don't get to spend my actual birthday day with him.

Crap Day

What a week this is cracking up to be.  My daycare provider's father-in-law passed away.  Therefore, she is closed until Thursday.  Luckily, my MIL was able to watch the babe on Monday, Tuesday I worked 7:00 to 12:00 then came home to relieve the hubby so he could go get some harvesting done.  Today, I had to be at work to deal with some fancy pants that was in the office.  OK.  He's not a fancy pants.  I actually like him for the most part. Mainly because a lot of the "arguments" that I've been having with my manger about making changes to the site to move it in the right direction were just were just validated.  So I'm pretty happy.  Basically, had I been able to make the changes I wanted to make before I went out on maternity leave, this big wig guy would have came in and said, "Hey, this is great, you're doing this right."  Instead he said, "yeah, you should really do it this way."  My heart skipped a beat, and it was hard not to point at my boss and say, "Hell yeah!  How do you like them apples beotch!?"  And then maybe add in one of those, "Never doubt me again."  Instead.  I politely said thank you for your input, and quitely wrote some notes which I then highlighted.  Tee hee hee.  That shit's gettin' changed ASAP!

High Baby?

Does amoxicillian contain caffeine? Because I swear it does. My baby is on the stuff, and the last two nights, getting her to sleep have been quite the challenge. Tonight she was so tired that she just layed on the floor looking at me, as if to tell me, "OK. Take me to bed." So I got her bottle and we went through our same routine. Only this time, she sucked and sucked and sucked until the bottle was finished. Then she was still wide awake. She was very squirmy and I finally had to set her down. I held her up by her writs while she looked at me and giggled. The she tried to suck on my knee. More giggles and grins, and more sucking of my knee. I think my baby is high. Is that possible? The drug facts sheet says nothing.

Ghetto No More

Last weekend I bit into a stupid Sugar Baby candy, and only because I wanted some chocolate candy, but we had none, so I settled for crappy Sugar Babies. (I didn't even enjoy them.) When I was done sucking the caramel (or whatever the hell those things are made of) off my teeth, I realized that my filling on my back moler was no longer there.

Backstory. When I was in college, I got a toothache. I had no insurance, nor did I have money. So it got worse, until I couldn't stand the hurt anymore and I finally went in and got it fixed. By that time, my dentist basically dug out a lot of my tooth, and my filling was deemed "a big filling". Of course, to my toungue it felt like 1/2 my tooth was missing, but I guess it wasn't completely accurate.

Back to the present. I go in and my new fancy dentist that has all the fancy smanshy technology toys, tells me, "you have a big filling". Then tells me that only part of the filling fell out. So then she desides to give me a $987 porcelain crown. HOLY SHIT! I seriously considered just remaining ghetto, or just pulling the thing out and calling it a day. Who looks that far back into your mouth anyway? My insurance only covered 1/2 the bill. So I'm broke. Again. And I still have to go buy groceries, pay the mortgage, and whatever other bills just came in the mail. My husband better frickin' bring in some money from harvest soon, because I'm tired of being the main bread winner.

But at least I have a pretty new shiny crown to feel with my tongue while I sit here and write out checks. :0)

Oh Happy Disney Day

Today, instead of getting a crapload of crap off my desk, I attended a "Disney Institute Creativity Seminar". I thought it was going to be terrible and cheezzzzzy - making it terribly cheesy, but it wasn't. I was surprised! Not once did I find myself rolling my eyes.

We learned new ways to brainstorm, and a new ways to keep the creative juices flowing at the office. So now my task... Keeping up the momentum at the office.

I even got some ears and a little certificate to add to my certificate stack. I probably should really do something with them all to look more professional. I don't want to display them on my walls like some people do. That's uber lame. I just want to be a little lame. So I'll put the hat on my souvenir shelf.

Everyone have a happy Mickey day!

Shit Knockers

Yes, that's what I said. For the past 3 months I've had a one-hundred dollar plus phone bill. I keep thinking it's because I've forgotten to pay the last months or something. I've never actually looked at my usage. It turns out, I've been going over my usage minutes (450) by A LOT! Last month I went over 89 minutes, and was charged $40 more dollars! And I don't even want to tell you about the month before that! So, for all you bitches that say you never hear from me. OBVIOUSLY someone is hearing from me, because I've never hardly ever gotten close to going over my minutes. Not in like 4 years!

So now I'm faced with the dilemma. Just up the minutes to the $100/month plan, or do I try to just keep my minutes down? I checked. I am at 397 and my billing period ends on 10/22. If I do that, no one will be hearing from me this month. But I really don't want to pay another $50 for my phone. Oh the drama!

New Design

I decided my blog needed a face lift. And since I can't leave my room. OK. I ventured out because I had to. I had to go to the front desk to add my credit card to my room so I could log on to the Internet. And while I was out I managed to get bombarded by the show go-ers all duded up. Oh, and one perfectly thin, perfectly cellulite free size 2 hottie wearing tight black shorts so short her apple bottoms were hanging out. But in a totally hot way. Bitch. So back to my room I went and decided to create a new header.

What do you think?

Too Fat for Vegas?

OK. On a serious note. I am staying at the Mandalay Bay. I headed down to their super cool wave pool, and after not being able to locate my coworkers, I opted to find my own chair. As I started to look around for an empty lounge chair. I became frighteningly aware of my obesity. I thought I'd just find a chair, ditch my stuff and jump into the pool before anyone saw the beached whale. But I just couldn't do it. The more I saw hot siliconed women, the more I thought about my flabby round stretch mark scared belly and my oversized dimpled thighs. I just wanted to run up to my room. And that's just what I did after unsuccessfully finding a lounge chair that was in a mud hole to hide my hideous body. I for sure wasn't going to sit down next to anyone else out on that beach.

It was terrible. I never in my fat life, have been worried about the way I looked to other people. I just wanted to crawl up into a ball and never come out. Not even my $200 fat girl bathing suit could help me feel better. And it's super cute and flattering.

I've decided that no matter what I'm making it out there tomorrow. (It may need to involve a couple shots of some sort of hard liquor, but I'm doing it.) I can't stay at this incredible hotel, in nice hot 100 degree weather (it's 60 something in ND.) I'd be an idiot if I didn't take advantage.

How Do You Talk

to an angel?!!!  (raspby voice)

How do you hold her close to where you arrrrrrrrr

How do you talk, to an angel?

It's like tryin' to catch a fallin' starrrrrr  (raspby voice)

 

Do you remember that song?  It was some opening song to some tv show where some hot guy was the star who was trying to be a band singer sometime around the time Melrose Place came out.  I think his name was Jaime something.  Oh yeah, the show was called "The Heights".  They are playing that song on the radio.  Boy, that was a long time ago now wasn't it?  Damn he was hot.  I remember that though.  The show sucked.  :o(  But who cares, he was hot.  I wonder if he still is?

 

Kid Rock

I'm really tired of Kid Rock's rip off of Sweet Home Alabama.  It's on the country circuit, it's on the pop circuit, it's on the rock circuit.  Everywhere I turn the station it's on!  I can't take it anymore! 

 

It's one of those songs I thought was alright the first two times I heard it, now I'm just tired of it and want it to stop.  I've even turned the station to escape it, only to hear it playing on the station I turned it to!  When will the madness end?!!!

Girls are NASTY

If you're a girl, have you ever looked at your phone? I just cleaned the dust off my office phone, and noticed all the nasty makeup that was caked on to my headset.  NASTY! I had to use a wet wipe and scrape it off.  I have no idea how long it's been that way, but it grossed me out.  I am now going to wet wipe my phone at the end of everyday.

I am Loved

Thanks.  You have to be one of the greatest Supervisors ever.
 

 

Oh yeah, that was to me! 

Politics

I can't believe all the crap my Elephant friends are sending me today via email.  It's non-partisan stuff, but it's interesting to me who is sending it to me.  Suddenly they have a fire under their asses or something.  Not like I was inspired by John McCain's speech last night.  But thanks to the Convention, I am suddenly very aware of his broken arms that I really never noticed before and now I'm questioning if he's in constant pain like so many of our previous presidents, or if one arm is going to fall off while he's waving one day.

 

I also decided last night that the Elephants at that convention are retarded (I am holding out hope that it was just the ones in attendance, and not the whole party, because I actually like some Elephants in power).  Poor Mcy couldn't even finish a sentence without the idiots chanting "USA!  USA! USA!" (and let me add, in inappropriate places.).  It's like they thought they were at the Olympics where it would make perfect sense to chant that over and over and over and over again.  But HELLO IDIOTS we're all in the USA.  That's why we're listening to American campaign speeches for president.  It's not like we're listening to all the other countries candidates that are biding for the office of American President.  Idiots.

 

I especially love the inappropriateness when he said that he had broken his arms and couldn't feed himself, and then the crowd went wild with cheers so loud and so long, poor Mcy had to put up his gimp arms and ask for quiet to finish his sentence.   Idiots.  (They probably caused him a lot of pain just for performing that arm lift action)  It was like, "YES!  You couldn't eat! GREAT! WOO HOO!  YIPPIE!".  The whole stupidity of it reminded me of jack ass fraternity brothers.  You could tell that even McCain was like, "Enough already you jack asses."

 

You know what I noticed about the stage?  It looked like a big hand flipping us the bird.  Anyone else notice that?

 

 

Butch Lesbians

What's up with butch lesbians?  I saw 4 of them at the mall during lunch, and all were dressed terribly.  Seriously.  Just because you are butch, doesn't mean you have to look terrible.  Where do they shop?  Butch Lesbos are us?  I don't even understand where their cloths come from because I've never seen anything like it on a rack anywhere.  Are they getting custom made butch-wear?   Just because you're butch doesn't mean you have to look terrible.  And don't give me that, "I want to be comfortable" crap either.  A person can look good and be comfortable.  It's not that hard to do.  It's terrible. 

 

Maybe I should start up a movement to help the butch out.  kb's charity for the butch.  What do you think?

Words of Wisdom

I got a new monitor, so I've removed all the little messages I've had up there for myself.

Here are a couple fortune cookie wisdomages that I had saved.

 

"The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go."

 

"Ideas you may believe as absurd ultimately lead to success!"

 

Does anyone have anything interesting stuck to their monitor?

Glove Boxes

Do you think people actually ever used a glove box for holding their gloves?  I can't ever think of a time that my glove box has ever held a pair.

 

Ponder...

Heelarious!

OMG! I think I might fork over the money to have these! This is something that my friend FWMama is going to H-A-T-E with a capitale H-A-T-E, but I love them, I think they are hilarious!

My friend sent me the link to these shoes that were featured on the Today show or something like that. Someone can buy my little one these so I don't have to. :o)

They are meant to be a joke so don't get your panties in a wad if you're appauled.

The site even says so
hee • lar • i • ous [he-lair-ee-uhs] - noun:
Extremely funny, completely soft shoes for babies 0-6 months designed to look like high heelsNot intended for walking (heel will collapse with weight).Not intended to harm children in any way. WARNING: May cause extreme smiling and hysterical laughter when in use (this is completely normal).

I'm for sure that FWMama is screaming as she reads this. ;o) Love you!

TrimSpa Baby!

"Like my body?"
I was cleaning out my drawer of pills, supplements-not prescription, (Sometimes I get free stuff from vendors and stuff.) and ran across an unopened bottle of TrimSpa that I bought when I was testing competitor's auto-ship programs.

I'm totally excited. When I took it before I didn't really feel jittery or anything like I did with my Ephedra contraband. I only ever took one at a time, but holy crap! The bottle says "take 4 tablets per day, 2 in the morning, 1 at midday, and 1 in the eveing." I just took my first one. Can't wait to start looking like Anna Nicole post TrimSpa, pre-dead.

I should put my weight loss ticker back up.

Song I'm Diggin'

I'm not sure, but I think my mind may just be turning to mush. Here are some lyrics to songs that I'm totally cranking in my car ride to and from work. Love the way they sound and they perk me up.

OK. When I hear this song the last word is "Boobies". But in the lyrics website I found this in, it says "Groupies." I like boobies better.

When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies When I grow up I wanna see the world Drive nice cars I wanna have Groupies

PCD are a bunch of poets!

Another great poet of our time is Kid Rock...
And we were trying different things, we were smokin' funny things,
Making love out by lake to our favorite song
Sippin' whiskey out the bottle, not thinking' bout tomorrow
Singin' Sweet Home Alabama, all summer long

Wow. That's magical

Wilsons to shutter stores, liquidate

Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 2:59 PM CDT
Minneapolis / St. Paul Business Journal - by John Vomhof Staff Writer

PreVu Inc., formerly known as Wilsons The Leather Experts Inc., announced Thursday that it is going out of business.

Brooklyn Park-based PreVu “has been unable to obtain the capital or other financing necessary to pursue the mall accessories store concept and continue its operations on a long-term basis,” the specialty retailer said in a U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission filing.
The company plans to fully liquidate its 100 mall stores by the end of October.
In July, Wilsons sold its name, online operations and 116 outlet stores to New York-based sportswear maker G-III Apparel Group for $22.3 million. Wilsons changed its name to PreVu as part of the deal.

In recent years, Wilsons had started shifting its focus away from jackets and other high-end leather goods toward purses and other accessories, but the updated concept never gained traction.

-----
Can't say I'm surprised, it was only a matter of time, but I am actually a little sad for them. They could have had a great business if they didn't have such crappy leaders.

Ankle... Hurts

I managed to twist both ankles while chasing after sunflowers.

More to come on that when I get a chance.  Just wanted to let you know I hurt.

John Edwards is a Slimball

I knew it. I just knew it. There was something about that man that made me feel all creepy and icky inside. I remember telling a few people how I thought he was a creep, and it was probably only a matter of time before some sex scandal broke about him.

Well, once again my instincts are right. Even with people that I don't know! I have to admit, I felt sort of bad for judging him a slimball as early as I did, but now I am glad that I did! What is it with senators and just men in DC that can't keep their dick in their pants? Seriously. It really isn't that hard. If you take an oath of marriage, then you should take it seriously. Otherwise, don't frickin' get married and you can boink whoever the hell you want. What a bastard. Wife has cancer, and all he can say is that he stuck his cock in someone else while his wife was in "remission". As if that makes him look like less of a slimball because "at least he didn't cheat when she was going through all the therapy." Whatever. He's a nasty bastard and I'm glad I never supported him.

Seriously, it seems to be an acceptable trend to allow the people who "run our country" do whatever nasty thing they want with whoever they want and they stay in the positions we put them in. Come on, it's not hard to go home and spank it when you need to if your wife won't put out. Besides, there are plenty of toys you can enlist to help you along as well.

I'm more irritated by how, yet another lying bastard in Washington can't even keep his own immoral shit hidden while he travels the country talking about morality. Maybe, if you're dip stick has just come out of someone's fuel tank that isn't your wife, just maybe, you should cut out that part of your speech that talks about family togetherness, and bringing back the honesty to Washington.

Road Construction

The exit I take to get to work is under construction. They are expanding it from a two laner to probably a 4 laner, adding a second bridge, and remaking the road in anticipation of increased traffic due to a new super walmart going in, as well as other shops and things.

It's been pretty cool. At first, I got to see them put up the bridge, and then poor the concrete and all that fun stuff. Every day I drive in to work, there is something new going on, and most days on my way home from work, there is a new road path for me to take to get back onto the freeway. One day I had to go really far out of my way to get on, but it was fun! I never know what's going to happen each day when I get out of work! It's my own little adventure. Now it sort of sucks because they tore out the exit I take to get into work, so I have to go way north to the next exit and then double back on the frontage road to get to my office. I am trying to figure out how they are going to redo the exit. The completely tore out the existing road. All it is today is dirt. I don't even know where they put all that tore out concrete in on day. You'd think there'd be a big ole pile of it somewhere nearby.

The contractor mock ups of the complex look pretty cool. i can't wait to see the finished product. It's going to be one of those "snobby Walmarts". You know, one that I'd shop at. ha! I can't wait, it will totally be convenient for me to stop in on my way out if I need anything. The one by my house is a smaller one that doesn't have everything, just some of some stuff.

How's everybody doing? I feel like I haven't talked to anyone in so long!

And YOU Thought Wheaton Was Backwoods!

Today, I was begining my 40 minute drive home when my "low feul" light came on. Ding ding ding! and I was about 10 miles away from the next exit, of which I would then have to turn around and go back to my office where there is a gas station near. Or-I could just charge on, and hope that one of the towns I pass on my way home have a gas station. (Even though they don't look like much from the highway. There's got to be more to what I see right?)

Driving into town A, I seriously thought I was driving into a Stephen King novel where I'm going to get kidnapped and murdered if I get out of my car. The houses were all very pretty. All 20 of them. The streets were all gravel, and the one I turned down to take me to "main street" took me to a road that was wide open to a field with one building there. Two guys without shirts on were working on a new piece of construction right next to the building that had the "Gas" sign. And next to a lonely old pump was another sign that said, "pay inside". That sign was pointing to a side door on the old building that would have taken me out of the view of the only two people I saw in the town. I kept driving.

I'm seriously on E now and I come into town B. Sign says, "Historic Fort Ambercrombie 1 Mile". So I figure, historic site, there has to be a gas station near there! So I drive up their "main street" and find a body shop with two pumps. Old fashioned style. It's at this point that I realize this place isn't going to take credit cards, and I carry no cash with me. I also have no checks. Luckily, for some fateful reason, I had a five dollar bill in my wallet. So I filled up with my 1.3 gallons of gas, and headed on my way home. Luckily I have three credit card taking gas stations right next to my house, and bonus score! Gas prices are down to $3.69!

Love from my CoWorkers

Everybody thinks their a comedian at my office when it comes to my sport.
But this really is pretty funny!

NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy

Best Celebrity Quote from Last Week

I've never been this excited with no pants on and my wife still sleeping!"
– Deal or No Deal host Howie Mandel, on being in bed when he received the news of his Emmy nomination, to PEOPLE

Lovely Dreams

I have had this dream twice this week.  I think I might have problems.

 

I dream that I'm in a meeting or somewhere public and I pick my nose.  But instead of just a booger coming out, it keeps coming.  Like when magicians pull that stupid scarf out of their pocket and it keeps coming and coming and coming.  That's my booger.

 

What's up with that?????

Yadda yadda yadda. One hundred dollars later, I have the perfect outfit to drown my child at church for God in.

Totally worth it though. She's gonna be so cute!!

Slipcovers. Are they worth it?

I have two ugly couches that will be in my nice new house. (House is 34 years old, but new to me). I realized the other day (light-bulb moment) that instead of paying a bazillion dollars to have the one with the hide-away bed in it reupholstered, I could buy a slipcover.

The thing is, they are almost $100 for one that looks alright to me. Are they worth this much money? I normally wouldn't care and buy it anyway to find out myself, but since I'm still recovering from a full pay period without a paycheck, I can't really afford a bad purchase hassle right now. I need something that will work, and that will work before my oldest friend shows up at my house in a couple weeks with her family. They can't see how ugly this couch is, let alone sit on it the way it is. It's just embarrassing.

UPS SUCKS!

I mailed a package to my mom and dad via UPS on May 14th. (You may recall me bitching about it here.) Well, they can't find my package so I'm getting my money back. However, it still sucks because one of the things I mailed was somewhat one of a kind. So now I have to figure out what to do for that gift. The people that work at the UPS store are inept too. No wonder my package is lost if that's what they hire for their stores.

No matter though. I inflated the prices I paid for the stuff some, so that should ease my suffering from having to shop all over again. All in all, I should be getting about $120 back. My stuff, plus their packaging and shipping fees. Crappy UPS. I won't be using them again. I suggest you follow my lead.

In other notes: Things are still biting me in my sleep. The air conditioning is fixed! And I didn't have to pay for it! woo hoo! And, the best news of all! I got my car back on Monday! It's so exciting! It feels so weird to drive it too. The steering wheel is so much more comfortable in my car, and I really missed my cup holders. I also missed the "no smell" in my car. The celebrity smells like moth balls.... Ahhh... yes, it's the little things that make me happy.

Creepy Emails

One of the websites I manage has a feature to email the page to a friend. On occassion we have someone reply to the email and it comes back to us instead of to the intended recipient.
This one came in while I was on maternity leave, and it's super creepy. So much so, I had to share it with you.


thanks love for i can see how u love me to live longer and stronger i will take my time and read about health for i can see how it is important in our health. but how did ya day go mostly this afternoon, as u worked hard at home and adding the one outside, i should be expecting u to be sleeping now in order to gain back that lost strength,

OK. So far, not too creepy, except for the weird way she/he talks to him/her. Here's where it gets weird.

i love u dear and i really missed u when i got in the bus and u made it worse when u took off the bus at scarbo town centre at 5.31pm after me knocking people while running to catch u. never mine u did see me and there was no woman beside u so am not worried. have a lovely nite and i will talk to u later muah kisses and hangs baby

Anyone else find this creepy????? I bolded the funniest creepiest parts for your amusement.

Too Cute?

At first I thought this was totally cute.

Until I went and "expressed some milk"   ( AKA juiced myself. ) 

Then I realized that was what my poor suctioned nip looked like.  :o(  Nope, nothing sexy about pregnancy or being a mom.

http://www.amazon.com/Razbaby-009-RT-RaZ-Berry-Silicone-Teether/dp/B000JWSO9I/ref=pd_nr_ba_1?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products

Ahh...The Good Ole Days

I'm still unpacking. We have everything moved out of my storage unit now, so it's only a matter of time before I get through all my boxes. I actually think I only have two or three more to go through, then it's a matter of getting everything put away somewhere. It's actually been pretty fun. A while ago, I posted that it was just like shopping but without having to spend the money. Kai asked me what I had found. So I decided to take a few pictures.

Once upon a time, when a little company named Pier 1 had all these cool employees working for them, and they were doing well in sales, they allowed the priveledged home office workers to have an bi-annual sample sale. This meant that you could get great imported things for super cheap. For example, any candle bigger than a pop can was fifty cents, and anything smaller than a pop can was a quarter. Anyone that buys candles knows that a good candle the size of a pop can retails for at least $15. So this was a super fun time. The whole office would plan to be there early. My firest year, I think Kai and I got up around 6 to be there for when the doors opened at 8:00, and we were still quite a ways away from the front door. (Supsequent years later, I got to shop the day before because I was part of the merchandising team.)

When the doors opened it was a mad dash for goods. You'd grab anything you thought you might like and throw it into your bags. I got a lot of great furniture for cheap. Here are some of the little things I got too.

These are cool candles, but I have no idea where I thought I'd put them in my place. Now, maybe I can use them in my guest bathroom or something.I

I love this thing. This actually was in my bedroom at my last place, but I thought I'd take a picture anyway. I think this was one of those things I found that no one else wanted or something, and I picked it up for fifty cents. I think it'll go in my formal living room once I get furniture for it.

This is one of those things I forgot all about having, and when I unwrapped it I was excited! It's a candleholder, and it will look great next to my downstairs fireplace.

This is a great score because, although I hate dead flowers (OK they are dried, but same thing to me.) I need something to brighten my upstairs bathroom, and I decided I'd do this with red accents. This will work! And I didn't have to spend any money! (OK, maybe it was a dollar or something at one point in time.)Once upon a time I thought I'd use these as trivets in my kitchen. My kitchen was going to be red and black. Now I don't know what I'll use these for. Maybe I will sell them on ebay. They are solid wrought iron. I also have two red candles that would go nicely. Maybe I'll sell them as a package deal.Funny. There are no bugs in Texas. So why the heck did I pick these citronella candles up? Humm... don't have a clue. Like I said, you just grab things sometimes. But now I will be taking them to the lake and burning them like crazy all around me.

I don't know. I grabbed these candleholders because they were cute and thought I'd use them as a gift for someone sometime. Now that I've found them again, I might use them in the baby's room for something. The biggest one is about 3 inches tall. I'm sure they'll get destoyed pretty quickly if I do that, but oh well, they were cheap anyway.

Things That Piss Me Off

1. Something is eating me alive while I sleep.
I have woke up the past two days with a new bug bite each day. The first one on my wrist and now one on my calf. They itch like crazy. As if that wasn't bad enough, I have been seeing at least a spider an evening since we moved in and have told my husband I bet it wouldn't be a bad idea to have an exterminator come in and spray since who knows when the last time that was done. He doesn't want to do that a. because of the money factor and b. he doesn't want chemicals sprayed in a house with a baby in it. He does have a good point for point b.

I also looked at getting those bug things that you plug in to your outlets and it sends some sort of current through your house and makes the bugs get out of the walls. But I'm worried that they would just get out of the walls and into the house instead of out of the walls and into the yard or wherever it is they would go that would involve not being in my house.

So what do you think? Get a guy to spray or not?

2. Fuckin' Air Conditioning
Now I know I will get sympathy from Kai on this one. (BTW, I am no longer linking to his blog because I started getting crazy spam comments on my entries a while back and I think it was b/c I linked to one of his posts. So you'll just have to find his blog posts yourself now.) I have a bi level house. The upstairs is hotter than the downstairs. We haven't ran the AC yet because it has still been butt ass cold. Until now. Last week it was nice so we hadn't turned it on yet. This week, a little hot. 85 degrees outside hot. Oh, I should also mention that most of our windows in the upstairs are on the west side. You know, the side the sun sets on. So in the evening hours, it gets pretty hot. Turned the air on Monday when we got home. It was 84 inside. We turned the air on at 76. It froze up and never did cool down the house. We thought it was because we were asking it to do too much right away.

Next day, turned the air on at noon before it got hot. Guess what? It froze up right when it needed to be working the most. It was 89 degrees in my upper level last night!!!!! The baby and I sought refuge in our lower level. This would all be fine and dandy if we had our couch from the other house down there already. But we don't. So I had to lug the not so comfortable little rocking chair from the baby room down there for something to sit in and rock the baby to sleep. I set the pack-n-play up in the guest bedroom, and we spent the whole evening down there. 5:00-11:00 when the baby finally fell asleep. We both slept in the guest bedroom. Don't know when DJ got home but he slept upstairs. I think he knew better than to disturb me because he knew I was pissed at the whole situation. Smart man.

Luckily though, we have this supplemental house insurance that we forked over $400 for. Basically, it covers things that could happen to our appliances during the first year of us living in the new house. So if our fridge goes out, we get a new one for free and so on and so forth. Of course it has it's loop holes. So I called them, and they are sending a guy out this morning. Hopefully they will cover the whole cost of repairs. I think the AC isn't strong enough for the size house we have. What I'd like to do is setup one of those windowless units in one side of the house to help offset the stress we're putting on the AC unit. We'll see what the dude says though.

3. UPS Can Suck My Ass!
You know, when they had that stupid strike several years ago, I thought "The hell with those selfish bastards." I didn't give them my business for a long time because I thought their reasons for striking were stupid. Then I started up again, because it was convenient for me. (UPS Store near my house.) I sent a box of gifts to my parents for their birthdays and mother's and father's day on May 11th. I spent $44 on shipping!!!! Guess who hasn't gotten their package yet? It's been sitting in Omaha since 5/22!!!!! WTF! If they lost my package, so help me God, I am going to kick some brown uniformed ass. And if it's contents are broken once they do finally get it delivered, I'm going to kick some brown uniformed ass some more!!!!

Checkout this letter they wrote my dad when he emailed a complaint to them.
My Dad's complaint.
This package has been just sitting in Omaha, NE. for the last month. I always thought UPS was better than the US Postal service. Right now you are looking to tie them....

Their comment.
Thank you for your inquiry. I have checked the status of your shipment in our tracking system. Unfortunately, our records do not indicate the reason for the delay of your package. Our records indicate that your package was last scanned on 05/22/08. Unfortunately, it has missed its scheduled delivery date. I apologize for the delay in the delivery of your package.

At this point, a package investigation is required to further research this shipment. We strongly suggest that you contact your shipper to initiate this investigation. Shippers are encouraged to report lost packages because receivers may not have all the shipment information needed to perform a thorough investigation. In addition, claim notification letters are not sent to receivers. All claims are settled with the shipper.

Fucking bastards. Like I have time to fuck with this! Guess who's gonna give me my shipping money back though? Oh yes. When kb gets pissed, she gets what she wants. Just ask my co-workers and a couple of my friends. They are amazed at how I can get things from stupid companies that screw up.

4. Suicidal Animals.
Karma's a bitch aint it? Well, I don't think I deserved this, but last Wednesday (my first day back to work from maternity leave) went just swell with the baby at the daycare, and me at work. What didn't go well, was the cat I totally splattered on the way home. It was terrible. I was driving down a country road singing along to Keith Urban or someone, and this cat comes running out right in front of me. I didn't even have time to think before I had splatted it.

But like I said. Karma is a bitch. In return for my inability to prevent this display of road kill, the cat demolished my radiator and punctured my transmission fuel line. All I wanted to do was get home to see my baby, so I just kept driving until I thought I couldn't anymore. Luckily my SIL was in the area and picked up the baby, then came and got me.

She told me that she killed a bird that morning too. The stupid thing was flying over her and suddenly just dropped in front of her hood.

Then, just yesterday (or was it Monday?) DJ and I were driving somewhere, and there was this bird in the middle of the road. It never moved. He thinks he got it. I think he didn't.

What is with animals these days? Does it have something to do with Global Warming?

Peonies!

Checkout my awesome peonies!

It may be hard to tell but that trunk is about 2 feet wide, and that vase is about 1 1/2 feet tall. So that's a BIG bouquet of peonies! I love my peony bushes! I've always wanted a peony bush, and I'm thinking these have been here since the house was built. They are hug blossoms! I'd say close to 6 inches diameter or more.

MY LIVING WILL

Last night my sister and I were sitting in the backroom and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug.' So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.

ha! My boss sent this to me this morning! It's Great!

Check It Out!

I found my old cell phone from college. I remember then it was one of the smaller ones out there. It was a limited edition nokia in "sea foam" green. I was so cool.

This phone was awesome. It took a lickin' and kept on tickin'. Kai, this is the phone that fell into the toilet that one New Years. I had to take it apart and lay it on the counter for three weeks to get it to work to get the phone numbers out of that. But after three weeks it worked again! Dang that phone was awesome.

BTW. The water was clean. Blue and everything. I hadn't peed yet.

$336

That's what I got on my last paycheck.

Well, at least I got something. I thought I wasn't getting anything. Thank GOD I have a big line of credit open, otherwise I don't know how I'd get through the next two weeks with no money.

Email follow-up comments to

Has anyone noticed this feature on blogger? It is great! When I make a comment, and I want to keep up with everyone elses comments, I subscribe to that post, and I get them emailed to me! It's great! I don't have to check back with the comments to see if anything more has been said. I love it!

Just thought I'd mention it if no one else had noticed it or used it yet.

I wish they'd offer an option to email people when you make a new post. If they have that feature let me know.

Are YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!!!

I ordered a JVC camcorder from Amazon. I've been eagerly anticipating it's arrival. It came today! Yippie! I open the box, and guess what? No camcorder! Some bastard in a warehouse somewhere probably stole it out of the box, and whoever picked my order didn't notice that the box was light. Or... I guess I could remain positive and think, "maybe my box was a floor model somewhere" and some bastard didn't notice the box they picked for me was light.

Either way. I was pissed. But now I'm happy. I've never had an issue ordering on Amazon, so I didn't know for sure how to get a hold of someone. They have a feature that says, "We'll call you", and then you can tell them when to call you. I told it to call me right away, and sure enough, my phone rang right away! Put me on hold for about 2 or 3 seconds and I got a nice lady that I told my issue to. She put me on hold, and in about a minute she was back online telling me she had put in a replacement order and expedited the shipping. So now I will get my camcorder on Thursday. I'm glad she expedited the shipping without me telling her to. So it's a good think Amazon has good customer service because I'd be PISSED!

Closet Space

Ho Hum... Woah is me! Maybe you didn't hear me. I said, "WOAH IS ME!"

I have no closet space. OK. I have some, but the closets in this place are terrible. TERRIBLE I tell you. I have no room for my cloths, DJ thinks he needs space in our master bedroom closet too, and there isn't enough space for a quarter of my stuff. I really wish I had Carrie's closet that Big builds her in the movie. That would be so wonderful. We could very easily build me nice closet in the living space in the basement. Who needs office and sewing space! I need space for my accessories!

I thought I could take over MG's closet. But she's already got quite the wardrobe building up in there, plus, I'm keeping all her diapers and whatever else is needed in there. So that's off limits. So it's down to the guest bedroom closet. I will have to think of some sort of rotational process between the two closets. I'm also thinking of getting a rolling bar like what you see in clothing stores to store some stuff in one of the rooms downstairs. Then, when I have company, I could just roll it out of there and into the garage or something temporarily....

Got to go, baby crying...

Sex Again

So... Sex after baby. Let's chat about that for a minute. I got the "green light" from my OBGYN at my 6 week checkup. I managed to stave off the deed as long as I thought I could without causing my husband to run off with another woman.

But let me tell you, what I used to enjoy has now because one big massive stress ball. Why? You ask. Well, because I had an episiotomy. It was not fun while it was healing, and now that it is, I am not interested in getting it back. So while my husband is happy as a clam, I'm thinking, "OMG! Is it tearing open?! Ouch! That hurts! I hope he doesn't feel like he's 'throwing a hot dog down a hallway' (Got that from Jenny McCarthy's book) and, "Is this going to be over soon?" Oh, and lets not forget the breast feeding concerns. "I sure hope he doesn't touch my nipples, because they are sore today. I also hope I don't spring a leak like I've read can happen sometimes."

So sex - at this point anyway - is no fun to me. I wonder if I'll ever find it fun again.

Phew. MG is down for the count for a while. She is not liking that I'm not picking her up. But I'm trying to prepare her for daycare. I put her in her swing hoping that she'd fall asleep, and I think it worked. I'm trying to think of all the things a daycare person might do or not do with her since she's got other kids to tend to. I sure hope this whole daycare thing goes well. I'm seriously freaking out about it. DJ has this cousin that worked at a daycare center for a few years, and she's really good with kids. I asked her if she'd move to our town to watch my kid. She said yes, but her husband wouldn't like that much. :o( Woah is me.

I finally feel like I'm getting things done around this house, and soon I'm going to have to go back to work. It sucks. The weather is finally looking good today (other than the wind gusts). I'm trying to decide if MG and I should try to take a walk, or if we would get blown away.

I'm looking forward to going back to work on a few levels. One will be that it's a controlled food environment. I only eat food during lunch, and maybe a snack if someone brings something in that is good. Right now, I snack too much. Even though I don't eat much for regular meals. You'd think that'd even things out a bit. But I don't think it is. I feel like I still have a sumo wrestler belly. I would love to have that mostly gone by now so I could at least fit in to some really cute shirts that I forgot I had. When I go back to work, I intend to start up my daily walks around the neighborhood once or twice a day. Before I got preggers I had a good little routine going that got me out of the office and losing a few pounds.

I found a pair of jeans today that I bought and wore once right before I got married. I have pictures of me in those jeans. I looked hot. Even though then, I thought I was a lard ass. I don't think I'll ever fit into those jeans again. I'm not even going to try. I am donating them to Goodwill. I wonder if I will ever look remotely attractive again. Especially since it's very hard to get out of the house with MG right now. I planned on joining a gym and getting a personal trainer, but the thought of being away from MG more than the 11 hours I already will be is way too much for me to deal with. Maybe I'll come up with something to do on my own on the weekends for a couple hours while DJ watches her.

Unpacking = Just Like Shopping!

DJ has been bringing me loads from my storage unit every time he comes back to the house with his pickup. When I moved up here, I put a lot of things in storage, knowing that I wouldn't have places for them.

Four years later. Opening boxes is like opening little treasures! I have found some really great stuff that I forgot I had! Great stuff that I got for super cheap when I worked at Pier1, and just other great stuff! I'm so excited! It's fulfilling my shopping needs without me having to go out and spend a dime! Which is really good since I will be without a paycheck this pay period because the last two weeks of my maternity leave are unpaid. :o( Or so I think they are anyway. We'll see on the 15th if I get a paycheck or not.

The Things I Do For a Burrito

Thursday I had a day to myself in Fargo. The main reason being my six-week checkout with my OBGyn. Guess what? He was a little concerned about my delivery. In fact, he had a FULL PAGE of notes regarding my whole ordeal. He told me that next time I need to be sure to tell him to look at his notes on the first one because apparently, he normally only administers one of many different types of medications to stop bleeding during labor. He then continued to tell me how he used every medication on me to stop my bleeding. So although it's unlikely a "hemorrhaging" trend with me and childbirth, next time he'll want to be better prepared with all the medications in the room with us. He also mentioned that he'd want to induce me earlier next time. Oh, and I'm supposed to make a smaller baby next time too. Yeah, isn't that an easy request? I found out a bunch of other interesting yet freaky information while I was at the office. All leading me to believe that childbirth really isn't worth all the trouble. Seriously. I'm also starting to think my mom wasn't really being as melodramatic as I thought she was being.

After I went running around doing a bunch of errands, all with the intent to eat lunch at Qdoba. I hadn't eaten breakfast because I wanted to be sure to enjoy every morsel of my burrito. I didn't make it to the big Q until 6:00. I was about to pass out. When I pulled into the parking lot, it was raining cats and dogs. But I wasn't about to miss out on my burrito now! Not after starving to death all day long. So I got drenched running in and out of Qdoba. But the burrito was totally worth it.

I L-O-V-E Amazon.com!

Who loves Amazon? I love Amazon!

Things that I can't find anywhere else, I find on Amazon. I went straight to the manufacturer's website to find some mosquito netting for my baby stuff (An absolute must in this frickin state), and the stupid website is out of stock of 2 of the 3 items that I want. So I went to Amazon. Guess who has everything I want? And guess who suggested some other things that I didn't even know I wanted? AMAZON!

Want to know what else I couldn't find in stores? Infant sun hats. Want to know where I found several? Well.... Maybe I won't tell you my secret.

Tomorrow I'm venturing off into the "big city" with my brave husband. It will be scary, but I think we will get through it. And Thursday, I get to go into the same big city all by myself. I'm totally excited about this! DJ will be with the baby all day long. Woo hoo! My daycare lady suggested that I bring the baby by for a couple hours at least so she (the baby) could get familiar with all the kids. This is a good idea, but I'm also sad and scared. I don't want to leave my baby alone with anyone. Even though I think this lady will be just fine. I just don't want to do it. I also don't want to leave her for 9-10 hours each day either. :o( The daycare lady is going to see my baby more than I do in a weeks time. It's so sad. Maybe I need to quit my job and be a stay at home mom. Who knows, maybe this whole kid thing will force me to implement one of my business ideas. Lord knows I can't afford to be jobless.

Random Stuff

I figured I had better post something here while the baby is asleep. I've been so busy, that I can't even think of something worthy of being posted.

I guess I can start with the fact that I've lost thirty-pounds of baby weight. I have 10 more to go to get back to my Weight Watcher's loss weight. I guess I should be excited, but I've seen my naked post baby body, and boys and girls, it ain't pretty. I wont get into any details because it just depresses me. It's been too cold for me to go on walks with the baby, so I've been stuck in the house. I do wonder why with all the bending over, rocking and twisting that I've been doing, that my stomach and abs haven't gotten any tighter. You'd totally think that movement alone would help.

Let's talk about this whole, "Breast feeding burns 500 calories." I've decided that this is a lie. What really happens is, it takes so long to actually breast feed your baby, that instead of munching on some sort of food that could make you fat, you're trapped in a chair with a baby on your boob. So basically, breastfeeding prevents you from eating - therefore, that is how you lose 500 calories.

OK. On to something so much more exciting! Sex and the City! Who's excited?! I am! I am! I've decided that my SILs and I are going to go see it. Probably not on opening night, but maybe on Monday or Tuesday. I have it all planned. He husband can come up with the baby and babysit with my husband and the baby. That way we can have a girls night out! I'm excited about it! The only thing is that there is only one theatre in this town, so I have to see if they are even getting the movie on opening day.

Ummm

There was something I wanted to complain about, but I'm so tired, I can't remember what it was. Maybe I'll remember what it was tomorrow.

YULK

Girl's twin is found inside her stomach
Doctors in Greece removed embryonic growth from 9-year-old
The Associated Press
updated 7:45 a.m. CT, Thurs., May. 15, 2008

ATHENS, Greece - A 9-year-old girl who went to the hospital in central Greece suffering from stomach pains was found to be carrying her embryonic twin, doctors said Thursday.

Doctors at Larissa General Hospital examined the girl and surgically removed a growth they later discovered was an embryo about six centimeters (more than two inches) long.

"They could see on the right side that her belly was swollen, but they couldn't suspect that this tumor would hide an embryo," hospital director Iakovos Brouskelis said.

The girl has made a full recovery, he said.

Andreas Markou, head of the hospital's pediatric department, said the embryo was a formed fetus with a head, hair and eyes, but no brain or umbilical cord.

Markou said cases where one of a set of twins absorbs the other in the womb occurs in one of 500,000 live births.

The girl's family did not want to be identified, hospital officials said.

Back Online!

Well, what can I blog about? I’m tired. I’m sore. And I’m finally ALL ALONE! Woo hoo!

Moving day would have been a lot better had my dad not come into town to “help”. I say this because he means well, but he’s also exhausting. He’s an ex-marine. So even though I told him that both D & I were exhausted on top of all the other crap going on with me, that we had not planned to do much with the new house. In other words, we’re taking this whole unpacking thing slowly. That being stated, it pretty much went in one ear and out the other. Poor DJ probably took more of the brunt since he was actually moving heavy stuff around the house. At least I was just unpacking crap they brought to me. But standing all day was not a picnic for me.

I think he got it on day two or three when Darin pointed out that I looked really pale. Then I said, “yeah, I’m super shaky today, and don’t think I’m going to do anything other than sit on the couch with the baby. ” Then my dad chilled for a while. I even tried to get him to leave the house and go to the big W to see relatives, but he wouldn’t go b/c he wanted to help. So at least his heart was in the right place. Just driving me nuts in the process.

The human body is a crazy thing. I lost a lot of blood in this whole ordeal. Actually, my Dr. couldn’t get my bleeding to stop. When I walked out of the hospital, my hemoglobin was at a 10. I have no idea what that means, but my mom told me a regular “sick” person’s hemoglobin is usually around 13. So I’ll have to research that and see. But I will feel perfectly fine, and then WHAMMO! I’m about ready to fall over. I have pretty much had no appetite at all. So it's hard to eat even when I have time to do that.

I Always Thought I was Miranda

Which Sex And The City Character Are You?

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I think I agree with some of this. But definitely not ALL of it! I think it's because they asked my marriage status. I think I'll take it again and see what happens if I answer that Q differently.

I changed the marriage question answer and now I'm Samantha. Sounds more like me, but I totally thought I was a Miranda. Hmmm.

Which Sex And The City Character Are You?

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Yep... Still Here

And I have a new irritation. Women who think they need to come into my office and tell me their birth stories. And/or people who think they need to come look at me like a zoo animal, and then tell me something stupid. OK. Normally, I don't think this would bother me so much. But there are a couple people in particular that come to mind that I am really getting tired of.

Today before I could even get settled into my office there was a voice from behind me. "Your here!" "Um yes, I am." and I'm still trying to put my bags down. Can't I frickin' get in the door before I'm bothered? And these people don't get the hint when I keep doing whatever it is I'm doing and don't even participate in the conversation with them. You'd definitely think they'd get the hint by my continuous typing, and flipping through different screens while they ramble on and on and on and on and on.

Why is it so surprising that I'm still here? Seriously? This is my first baby, and statistics say that most first babies are born late. NOT EARLY! Of course I'm hoping for early, but not like I'm really holding out hope. (Especially after my last Dr. Apt.) But we'll see. When DJ comes back into town, the "home remedies" are on man! He better have taken his vitamins. That's all I've got to say.

Sweet!

I just read up on what Blogger is doing for their next publish. I have been wishing for some of the features that they are implementing. It's like they read my mind!

I'm totally excited! I love when a system I use actually publishes updates that are useful. Unlike that crappy M company that creates crap that is not compatible with anything.

PS. Obviously I'm still around. Waiting to pop...

Announcement

I have an announcement..

Some of you may not know. DJ and I are buying a house. I'm not really going to say much because our closing date is coming up, and I don't want to jinx anything until then. So I guess all I will say is watch my blog for more info soon.

I will likely post pictures of the house soon.

Here are some details to appease your curiosity.

• 2500 sq ft
• 4 Bedrooms
• 2 Baths
• 2 Living Areas
• 1 Sun room
• 2 Car garage

Woo hoo!

Prego Update

Well, nothing's happening in prego land. Except that, DJ is down in the Big W for the next two days to work on his tractors and whatever farmers do this time of year. So I asked him, "How much do you want to bet I go into labor while you're gone?" So we'll see what happens.

I've got a new a weird-ness going on too. Now when I lean forward, I hear a sloshing noise. My SIL likened me to a water balloon ready to burst. Yep. She's pretty much right. If anyone bumps me just right, I just might go.

People are also looking at me like I'm a freak. Whatever. As if I'm the only pregnant woman on the planet or something. I'm also getting tired of people asking me, "Are you really going to work up until you go into labor?" Ummm... Yes. Why do I want to sit at home? Seriously. And waste my vacation time sitting at home waiting to pop? I think not. But come on people. I'm not going to work until my water breaks. I suspect I'll go to my Dr. apt on Friday and see what he says. If things look to be progressing in "the land down under", then maybe I'll take next week off. Who knows.

I also learned a new word! I was listening to the radio and the guy was talking about how his girlfriend had given him two black eyes (two separate occasions). The radio hosts asked, "did you do anything to deserve it?" The guy then said, "Well, one time I did go into SDM, but the other she just hauled out and hit me." SDM, are you ready? SDM means Super Dick Mode! Yes! The radio guys even had a sound clip for it. It was hilarious! So that's my new acronym. SDM. I'll be sure to use it next time someone in my life is a super dick.

I Don't Even Know What to Title This

I still haven't heard a single word from my sister. Not a single. Hope you're doing well! message or anything. Why am I bringing this up? Because today I get a box at my office. Yes, another one. This one contains scrap booking stuff, of course, something that she made "for me" to fill in with all the babies milestones of the first year. I suppose it'd be nice if a. It were in a photo album form, but it's more like a calendar thingy, b. I didn't already have plans of my own about what I'm going to do for her first year, c. It weren't made by someone who has spent my whole life being an assmunch. Which reminds me, let me check and see if it has her "signature" made by "me" stamp on the back... Wait for it, wait for it... And yes! There it is! "Made by the heart by assmunch." Assmunch is hand signed in pen with a little heart over the top. (This isn't a sign of love for me, this is how she signs her name. ALL THE TIME. I suspect in the law office she works in also has this heart signature. My grandpa's funeral guest book has her name with a big ole heart taking up the two lines above her name filled in.)

After closer inspection, it looks like I can order a photo album for it to make it into an actual book. So maybe my point a is a little moot.

Her note this time around says something like, "because I'm a veteran of those who have had kids...." "blah blah blah", "blah blah blah". No single mention of how are you, sorry for being an assmunch, or hope you're feeling well! Not even a "won't be long now." Whatever.

I never did hear anything from my mom either. So whatever again. She's not really too into this kid thing anyway. It's apparent by the fact that she doesn't seem to anxious to come up here and be with me during this whole fabulous experience.

OK. I think I may have entered the uncomfortable and cranky stage. But damn it! It's all about me right now! Grrr.