Why Do My Friends Keep Asking Me If I'm Knocked Up?

It seems all of my friends, local and long distance, have one thing on their mind when it comes to inquiring about my life. "Are you pregnant?" or "Are you pregnant?" or, now this one is classic, "Are you pregnant?" (All said with different voice influctions of course.) What has caused this anoying phenomina? Is it because everyone else is knocked up around me, and my friends no so little about me, that they think I'm one to follow the crowd? Just for shits and giggles or what?!

So, in case you are now inquiring. No. I am not pregnant. I do not intend to get pregnant. And No I do not know when I will want to be pregnant.

This whole knocked up thing just has no appeal to me. First of all, I already have a weight problem, so why would I want to go and get myself purposely fatter, when I'm trying so hard to battle the bulge already?! Second, several of my friends are prego right now, so I have been reading their misc literature that they send my way. This one site that I found for my friend Shari, tells you on a weekly basis what is going on with your body, your kids body, and what to expect in the days ahead. This information is enough when standing alone to make me never want to be prego. For example:
WK 7: Rapid acceleration of hormones can cause your face to break out. (Who wants extra problems with facial blemishes!) If you are taking vitamin B6 to help with nausea, you may find it also improves the condition of your skin. (Well, good, at least my puke medication is going to help me to not break out in big pussy zits!) Your waist may already be expanding, causing your clothes to feel snug. You may experience constipation and have occasional bouts of indigestion. (Awesome! This rockes!)Some women also feel a bit dizzy or lightheaded at times. (Of course, any persistent symptoms that concern you should be immediately reported to your practitioner.)
WK 11: You may be suffering with more frequent headaches as a result of the change in your hormone levels. (More awesomeness! I already have on average a headache a day, so this is great! I'm now going to have one steady headache for nine months!) If you experience frequent headaches, if the headache is the by-product of a fever, or if it causes visual disturbances or puffiness in the hands and face, call your practitioner immediately.
Although all of this is appealing, and really making me want to go home and get knocked up right away, I really love this part of Week 11 describing what's going on with my baby...The irises are now forming. The liver, intestines, brain and lungs are beginning to function on their own. The primitive "tail" is now gone. The intestines are beginning to migrate into the abdominal cavity and the external genitalia are present but difficult to distinguish. (I'm hungary, let's go eat now!)

Call me selfish if you like, but I see nothing wrong with spending time with my husband as just he and I for a few years before we start popping them out. (Even though with me it will likely be just one for the above reasons.) I'm also getting tired of women telling me after it's all over with, you want to have more right away. I find that very hard to believe considering so many woman are pissy the last trimester of their pregnancy, and having a cute baby really doesn't really even the score. Evening the score for me would have to be passing off some of this pain, suffering, awekwardness, and disgusto stuff on to my man. Since he gets to sit back and do nothing while I suffer. I already have enough problems with my body in it's childless state, I'm just not ready for all added aiches and pains this birthing process brings on. I honestly don't know why all these little girls are thinking pregnancy is fun. So far I know it's jut not for me. At least not yet. And probably not for many years.

So to wrap it all up. I am not pregnant. So please stop asking me the 20 questions about it.

Thank you, and good night.