Work

Work is really getting out of hand. I don't know if it's just because it's the beginning of the year, or what. But there are constantly people in my office, or I've got people lined up outside my office waiting to talk to me. On top of that. I've gotten so backed up with what I need to do in the 8 hour period, I've worked through my lunches, and taken work home with me.

Today, I had an hour and a half long webinar that actually became my sanctuary. I sent out an email to my team telling them to email me if they needed something because I'd be out that long, plus, I put a note up outside my cube so no one would walk in and not realize I was on the phone. When I hung up the phone, I wished that I had said two hours because it was so nice to not see someone standing behind me the moment I turned around.

Now, I know, some of my friends are crazy workaholics, but surely, I am not. Or I try not to be anyway. If there is one thing, shitty wilsons (I can't even capitalize it anymore) reenforced for me, it was this; Your work is not your life. They don't care when you die, they won't be at your funeral (well maybe one or two people you actually call a friend), they won't morn your loss for more than a week or two-until they replace you with a younger hotter model. And you for sure will be completely forgotten as soon as that person learns your job, and deletes your folder (or renames it) out of the companies common drive. That, and even if you finish up everything you have to do, there will always be more tomorrow. So why even make that your goal in the first place?

I was telling my boss yesterday, "If only I had someone I could tell, "type up this email, and say this..." and I didn't have to type all this crap, or "call this person, and say this..." (actually, I've started doing this to one of my peeps. I'm cleaverly calling it, 'training her in for when I go on maternity leave'.) To which she said, "So you're saying you need an assistant." And I said, "YES! That would work!", and then she said, "That worries me, because you are the most organized person I know. And you're leaving me for a couple months!"

I guess she's actually pretty worried about how things will stay afloat while I'm gone. And actually, I've wondered myself a time or two, but then I figure, I'm giving myself too much credit and I'm not all that important in the wheel that we call the web world. I'm more worried that I'll be gone, and they'll realize they don't need me at all. Or, while I'm gone stuff will spin completely to the left wing, and everything I've tried to keep on track will be completely opposite. Or! The self depricating thoughts of...(something I'm learning to combat thanks to my book, "Am-bitch-ous") They'll find out I'm completely a fraud and don't really know what I'm doing.

So yesterday (was it yesterday?) I tried to bring something home, and after working on it for a couple hours, lost the file to computer hell. Today, I emailed myself home some things that need to be done by 9:00 tomorrow, and turns out, I don't have the right program to open the files! Damn! Two days in a row of things not going my way!

Some good things did happen today, but since SOMEONE gave me crap for posting the same thing on my other site. You'll have to visit my other blog if you want to know about that. If you don't know my other blog address, email me and I'll send it to you. Otherwise, I don't know you well enough to share that blog with you.