The Changing of the Keys

Friday I headed to the cities at about 3:30 to make it to my friend's "Getting the Hell Out of Dodge" Happy Hour. I made it there before 7:00. Which was really great. So I met up with my old coworkers, and we drank and made merry for quite some time, then the "youngsters" decided they wanted to go downtown. I decided just to head home because my other reason for coming down was to finish cleaning my apartment, so I wouldn't have to do it later. I was being responsible. How mature.

So about 11:00pm I head home. I come in through the garage, and head up the 6 stair steps to my door. I turn the key. The key doesn't turn. So I think I am using the wrong key. I change key's and nothing. So I go back to my original key. Nadda. After trying my key several times, I decide they have changed the locks on me. So I call the emergency maintenance number. They guy calls me back in about 5 minutes, which seemed like 20 since the alcohol I had consumed had finally hit my bladder. He tells me that he'll be there in 30. What?! So I tell him I have to pee, and that I've been driving for 4 hours. OK. That's not all untrue since I drove 3.5. He didn't need to know that it was 4 hours ago. He tells me he'll try and get there as soon as he can.

I bided my time by talking on the phone to Kai, and thinking about which tree I could pee behind. I was very surprised to find out that Mr. self-proclaimed alcoholic was ASLEEP! ASLEEP I tell you! I guess he was sleeping off his drunken stupor from his day of work. You know Kai, you really should seek some counseling. We actually discussed how I'd really love to take a crap in my neighbors storage unit. He is an ass, and it'd totally be great! But I didn't have to crap, just pee. I was seriously thinking about peeing in his storage unit when the maintenence dude showed up. (It's not my fault the neighbor doesn't lock his unit)

The maintenance dude shows up after about 20 minutes. Kai tells me he wants me to stay on the phone until the dude leaves in case he’s going to try to rape me. This was a very nice sentiment because it would have never occurred to me. So I tell him that I’ll call him back as soon as I am in the apartment. If I don’t call him back in 5 minutes, he needs to call the police. The maintenance man lets me in, gives me my new keys, and says goodnight. I think I actually freaked him out since I told him I thought I was going to have to pee on a tree. I was so happy to see my bathroom!

Turns out, the apartment complex sent out a memo about 2 weeks ago saying they were changing the locks on everyone’s doors. I obviously didn’t get that memo since I haven’t been there in 2 ½ weeks. That really chapped my hide. But I was very happy for not going downtown, I would have had to call that dude around 3 or 4 am, and probably would have been too drunk to know my key’s didn’t work. Yep. It could have been much worse.

Saturday, I cleaned until about 3:00 and then called a couple of my girlfriends to see if they wanted to watch season 3 of Sex and the City. So we went to an early dinner – where I stuffed myself silly, I hadn’t eaten all morning. Then we went to the convenience store where I bet the clerk thought we were drunk, but we weren’t, and bought some candy and pop for our outing. My two girlfriends were a little hung over, so it was going to be a no alcohol evening for us. Even though I had two margaritas at dinner. It was a nice Saturday evening.

Sunday, I basically got up, finished loading my car, and headed back up North. I called my big D man, and he convinced me to stop in town before I headed home. So I took a detour. He took me to lunch/dinner at the local bar, then we did some dirty things, took a nap, and I headed off. I had to get home so I could pack for my trip to Chicago. I head out today at 11:30. I’m both excited and nervous! It’s my first convention!